Lightening

Things have been too heavy for the past couple of weeks. Things have been too heavy here, in real life, and just about everywhere, in fact. I think that heaviness is touching more people than just me. I am making the conscious decision to try and lighten it up: to find joy, enjoyment, and release the guilt that oftentimes trails after me when I make the choice to do something I love instead of something I ‘should’. That is a tall order to fill, and I will not do it perfectly, but I will try.

I will make my one-sided list of the things that bring me happiness in the right now and I will ignore that half of the paper I always reserve for the cons, the to-dos, the over-analyzing and what-ifs.

The Casa is now cool enough to bake on a regular basis. For the hell of it. I made a pecan pie this weekend, and bought ice cream to go with it. I am teaching Ant how to make a pie crust, although he is a tad bit younger than I was when my great-grandmother taught me. And I don’t think he really, truly cares. It’s all about keeping it cold, by the way. That much he will walk away with.

Remember when we were kids and all gangly and flexible? Remember when you were a child, and you could lie on your back, and then roll up onto your shoulders and curl the rest of your body into a ball right on top of your head? Yeah, I don’t. I couldn’t do it as a child, but I can now. Ant and I were being silly, and pretending that we were gymnasts, and I had a bit of internal validation of how much better I feel after losing 37 pounds over the past 16 months.

Fall leaves. Homemade marinara sauce. Halloween decorations. Zombie Safari Paintball. Diving under the covers at night because you’re trying to see how long you can go before turning the furnace on. You know, the season.

Zombies on The Walking Dead, and the fact that The Talking Dead follows. It makes me feel like I have three other nerd friends over at my house to watch the show, and we are all like: “Can you believe it?” and “I know!”. And the search for the comic books. Ah, the search for the comic books! And the fact that my husband now looks at me with something akin to alarm in his eyes.

The fact that K has taught himself how to play Smoke on the Water on the guitar, and pulls that one out whenever he thinks I am about to tell him it’s getting too late to play and the neighbors will be angry.

Ant’s self-imposed secret-agent swimming training has brought me back into the pool. Swimming laps and foggy goggles and the scent of chlorine permeating your pores. Backstroke while studying the industrial ceiling ductwork. I will know it better than the back of my hand before the winter is over.

I have a story idea. It’s an awesome story idea, in my mind. I don’t know if I will finish it, or if it will fizzle, and I have no plans to publish it (here, or otherwise) quite yet, so I’m not sharing. Plus, it’s somewhat of a fantasy theme-ish/esque/kind of thing. You’ll just have to trust me. Not in the fact that it’s any good (I have no idea if it is, or not) but in the fact that it is fun.

Words with Friends. Granted, I get my ass handed to me more times than not, but there’s just something about the plunk sound those rounded little tiles make on my computer speakers. Plus, I got my first 100 point word several days ago, and that made me feel so-freaking-smart! Angry Birds does not really make me feel smart, but it also has satisfying game sounds. Ant and I hive-five every time we knock down those marmosets.

And now I ask: What brings you a gentle reprieve? What helps you to lighten your load? 

This post is written freely, with minimal editing and no revisions, as part of the Just Write from Heather of the EO.