Experiencing Technical Difficulties… Please Stand By

We thwarted the last week of June by running off to another state on vacation, and while I briefly hoped that our awesome vacation meant that the bad luck June always brings would be over, I’ve now come to realize that by being gone, we were just delaying what the last week of June had in mind for us-- until the first week of July.

You know it’s hot outside when I start speaking in 65-word long run-on sentences, FYI.

Although, perhaps, I knew deep down inside that I was going to have to pay for those days by the pool, the mild temperatures, and the relatively pain-free drives.

If you’re unfamiliar with how June tries to kill me (okay, maybe not kill me, but certainly annoy me) each year, read this, and this, and then this. Prior years have been even worse. June is my Thebes month.

This year, I’ve been bitten on the leg by a pit-bull (in my own yard), I’ve been stung by a wasp (and had to go on Allergic Reaction Deathwatch 2012), I’ve been attacked by the world’s largest moth (the vermin trifecta!), and I attempted to fix a broken shower with no success. Also, our washer decided to break down (how dare the 12-year-old appliance require maintenance. Sheesh!), but that didn’t make the blog, because I fixed it.

When in doubt, shove a pencil in it. That’s my motto. I bet I could have fixed the shower, if I had any place to shove a pencil into.

This week alone I’ve dealt with broken wifi, an unexpected loss of 3G service in our area (this makes blogging difficult) and massively hot temperatures. All of the creatures in the wild are so hot and thirsty (moderate drought now with burn bans—marching towards water shortages and severe drought throughout the summer) that they keep coming up to our house in an effort to get inside.

Then Ant got sick with a nasty cold. And then sicker, with an amazing cough. And now we think he may have picked up vaccine resistant pertussis in the House of the Mouse.

Then the air conditioning broke last night. It’s currently 99 degrees, and slated to get even hotter this afternoon (104). The heating and air guys promise to show up sometime tonight. Yeah, tonight.

So the tales of our awesome vacation and the associated pictures? Yeah, that’s going to have to wait. If I were to brag right now, the universe would up the ante, I’m sure. Plus, I’m busy having a very warm pity party for myself right now.

Do you have an unlucky month? Are you currently affected by the drought, the power outages on the east coast, or were you flooded out during the tropical storm? Are you starting to think that maybe the Mayans were on to something?

Days 2, 3, and 4. And #OperationPlayMore. All In One Post. Because I can.

Okay, I have to be honest. I’m already cheating on this photo a day thing. I end up taking better pictures on days other than the day I intended. That being said, I am counting them because I end up taking them expressly for the purpose of that day’s topic.

Plus? I’ve been playing a lot, lately. And that was a goal, my friends!

Have I confused you yet? Because I’ve confused myself…

Day Two was Empty. And I might add this was taken on the correct day. So, I get extra points for this one. What? You don’t understand the ‘empty’ bit? Well, Ant came home from our fishing expedition empty-handed (the only guy who did—the other two caught five between them), but was so excited for the sportsmanship of fishing and congratulating his brother and dad and the prospect of eating said fish… Well, he didn’t mind a bit. Plus, he was the only one to catch anything the last time they went, and this was just evening the score, in his mind.

Tie-dye socks attract fish.

Day Three was On My Plate. And this was on my plate. Last Friday night. Because I made it (the chicken parmesan, not the plate) so it still counts.

You're jealous.

Day Four was actually taken on day two, but it’s the close up (as best as I could get it, that is) of the little creatures we happened to encounter during our fishing foray. There were two baby raccoons, still small enough to fit in both hands, playing and chattering and exploring away! Thankfully, Mom seemed to be busy elsewhere.

Can you see me?

This exercise has already taught me something about myself: I am not as boring as I think myself to be. I often lament (in my head) on the fact that I’m not as creative, or talkative, or exciting, or even that we don’t do as much with the children as the others (both in real life and online) I’m comparing myself to—But you know what? It’s just not true. There are a thousand little stories each and every day—some small that it can be easy to forget them if you’re not taking pictures, or thinking of how you might relate them to others, or just generally paying attention. I have a thousand little stories. And many of them are pretty damn exciting. I just need to remember to store them in my long-term memory. 

Weekend Wrap-up: The Half-assed Edition

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! I hope you’ve had a great holiday weekend thus far. I know I have.

On Saturday I finally caved, treated myself, and got the iPhone 4S. I KNOW! Siri is now managing my life for me, and I am fully expecting to be more productive, more relaxed, and always with a cup of coffee in my hand. Wait. What? Siri won’t make my coffee for me? Are you sure? Then what was all the hype about?

In all seriousness, the fact that I can speak my text messages and listen to my Pandora whenever I want has changed my life. Just. Like. That.

This slide's awesomeness has been confirmed by Ant.

Yesterday Ant and I had an exceptional time at the pool. Now, I’ve never been one to go to the pool on opening weekend (with five million other pool patrons wanting to dip their toes in freezing water), but this time it was well over 90 degrees and we were desperately bored. Ant is part fish, and loves nothing more than swimming and diving, so, we scrounged up 13 dollars and some suspect sunscreen from last summer, hit the pool, and snacked on concession stand nachos (is there anything better?). Three of his close friends were there, and I had three hours of talking-with-likeminded-adults while he had three hours of playing around with the 4^th grade guy crowd. Oh, and the water wasn’t cold.

Which I think might tell us something about how hot this summer is going to be…

Today we’re lying around, and maybe, MAYBE doing some laundry. More importantly, we’re celebrating the fact that we don’t have anything to do today for the first time in forever, and that school is out. There really is no better feeling.

All of this to say that this weekend wrap-up is being half-assed, due to the enjoyment of our holiday weekend.

So, what did I do in the past week when I wasn’t here?

Last week at Sprocket Ink I remembered my hometown, one year after the tornado. I also told you that Indians do not wear crows on their heads, and today I am warning you about the zombie outbreak in Miami. Get your zombie apocalypse kit together, and get Carl in the house!

What did I find elsewhere?

Not much. Not because it’s not out there. Because I’ve been too busy trying to get Siri to tell me a joke. She’s stubborn, though.

And what was going on last year?

The cicadas were attacking. And I do mean attacking. I am so glad that's over. For now. 

Well, now I'm off to answer zombie questions in the comments of my Sprocket Ink post for the day, and watch the thunderstorms roll in! I love storm watching, and I have a free day to do it! I hope you enjoy what you have planned for the day as well.

Yeah, About That…It’s the Spider’s Fault!

So, the blogging on a regular basis—yeah, well, hmmm. I know, I know; bad Sarah.

Does it help if I told you that I’ve been sick with a cold that just won’t quit? During midterms? And there has just been ALL of this grading? And the temperatures outside are so unseasonably warm that you can’t help but go outside? And I’m trying to see as much of Jesse as possible before she leaves me?

(This is where you should imagine me emitting the loudest, most disconcerting wail of grief one can conjure.)

Well, even if it doesn’t help you, it helps me. It makes me feel better. Just like fresh air and open windows and sunshine make me feel better. Another thing that makes me feel better? The fact that every time I type the word “as,” my computer autocorrects it to “ass.” That gives you some insight into my sense of humor, doesn’t it? I have the gutter mind of a twelve year old boy.

I’m all about feeling better right now. There’s been too much bickering and drama and everything else that is emotionally draining. I am tired of fighting with life right now—even though I feel as if we are making progress (again, not my story to tell, at this point, so I keep my mouth zipped up tight, in deference to the second son’s wishes). So, I am taking the advice I and so many others have given through our blogs and personal lives: enjoy the small moments. Forget the other stuff for a while, and just enjoy, and laugh.

Normally this is where I would redirect to the original point of my blog post, but I don’t really have a point to which to direct you this evening. This is likely the most pointless blog post you are likely to read this week. Or month. Or, perhaps, ever.

But I do have a funny story! I suppose that is my point, in a roundabout way—a small moment, a story, a piece of life to share with others to make them forget for a moment and laugh right along with you…

This morning, I woke up during the second alarm (yes, we have multiple alarms—never underestimate my ability to sleep through alarms). I stretched, lazily rolled over, and opened my eyes. That’s when I saw it- the spider sleeping beside me in bed. It was the size of a baby tarantula—it’s diameter was probably about the length of my thumb.

Yeah, about that big. Sleeping right next to me. Scary bastard!

Naturally I screamed bloody murder until J ran out of the bathroom. I screamed at him to kill it. When he tried to do so, I scrambled out of bed, and then screamed at him to not kill it in the bed. I made him scoot that damn spider around the bedroom until he found a place where I thought it would be appropriate for the monstrous spider to meets its doom.

And he did it, without complaining. This is how you know that your marriage is working, folks. That, and if he makes you coffee before he leaves for work. After he kills the spider and washes his hands, of course.

I think I may have just given my first piece of published marriage advice. I surely have missed my calling.

What small moment has made you forget about your troubles and laugh this week?