New Gig, New Look, Renewed Blogging

I seriously thought about giving it up. 

2013 was a rough year, with my grandfather passing, my being ill, moving to our new house, and all the rest of that daily life which crops up. Most evenings, all I wanted to do was eat, collapse on the couch, and watch mindless television until I fell asleep. And yet…

Something was missing. That something was writing. I wasn’t in the head space to actually accomplish regular writing, but damn if I didn’t miss it.

So, for the last few weeks, I’ve pondered and considered and waffled and finally, picked myself up and decided to begin again. This, in the midst of others shutting down and stopping; Sprocket Ink, Schmutzie, and others you may or may not have heard about.

I’ll leave others to meander around the idea of whether blogging is dying. I’m still narcissistic enough to continue. Plus, there’s so much I still want to document. We have K in the house for about 18 more months, and I’m certain shenanigans will ensue as we visit schools and he fills out college applications. Plus, writing about it for you is much healthier than finding a corner and curling up in the fetal position to ride it out, I’m sure.

To that end, I thought it was time for a new, simple, clean look. Voila! I now have one. And while I cut down on many of my writing obligations, I also picked up a new one: Lefty Pop. A brand new site, in its first week, and my first post pops up today.  You should totally go and check them out. I even have a cute new button over on the right.

Later on, I will write more about how my endocrine system tried to kill me, and how I’ve given it a shockabuku. I will write about J’s nefarious plan to make me cook all the things. I’ll update you on Ant, aka, Ferdinand the Bull, and the second season of basketball. I’ll, of course, do some whining about winter weather. There’s much to talk about, but baby steps, baby steps.

I hope you’ll stick around for the ride.

How I Imagine it Would Go Down

An imaginary conversation between me and the kindly police officer, had he pulled me over last Sunday night, instead of the car directly behind me…

Officer: Ma’am, do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: For going about 37 in a 30 MPH zone.

Officer: May I ask why you were going so fast, ma’am?

Me: I’ve got a 9-year-old and a dog guarding the first two dozen cookies. How long do you think that will last?

Officer: I’m sorry?

Me: The recipe lied. I knew it was lying—in fact, I doubled it-- I just didn’t know how much it had underestimated the white chocolate needed to make 6 dozen White Chocolate Peppermint Oreos.

This is where I would gently pat the four additional packages of Ghiradelli white chocolate baking morsels I’d just purchased.

Officer, amused: Oh! Class party?

Me: No. Office cookie exchange.

Officer: Ho, boy! Today has not been your day today, has it?

Me: No, officer. In fact, we’re quickly leaving ‘throat punch’ territory and going to full-throttled ‘stabby’.

Officer: I hope you’re not referring to this encounter.

Me: No, mostly to the long list of unfortunate events which have preceded this encounter today.

Officer: Well, I’m a kindly officer who knows when a woman has reached her limit and I am letting you off with a warning. Please do not speed, but do return home quickly in order to save what cookies may remain from the first batch you tried to make.

Me: Thank you, kindly officer.

Am I the only one who has these imaginary scenarios running through their heads on an almost continuous loop? Yes? Well, the good news is that everyone is usually caring and polite in these scenarios. That must count for something.

You can find the recipe for the White Chocolate Peppermint Oreos—which we will be leaving for Santa, because they’re delicious—here. Also, they should be credited for the photo. Just make sure you know that it will take about a bag of white chocolate morsels for each dozen. 

This post, under the prompt, "What cookies are you leaving for the big guy?" was written for: 

They’ve Got Nothing on St. Nicholas

We have a lot of traditions in our house. I’m a big believer in the holiday traditions. I like making a big deal of almost all of the holidays—New Year’s Eve (the Nana’s birthday), Valentine’s (J and my first date anniversary, and also the day I went into labor with Ant), Easter (HAM…), Fourth of July, you name it. Halloween/Samhain is favorite holiday by far, but I have no problem making a big deal out of Christmas as well.

All I’ve got to say is this: I always wanted my children to look forward to the holidays. I didn’t always look forward to them as a child, and I wanted to make damn sure my kids have tons of wonderful memories.

So, during Christmas, we decorate the Friday after Thanksgiving, we observe St. Nicholas (patron saint of children and gift-giving, he fills the children’s shoes with candy and small toys, to tide them over until Christmas), we have a night of cookie making (the weekend before Christmas), we always have the boys make their gifts for our family members, we observe the Longest Night (Winter Solstice/Yule) you name it! We’ve got the traditions down pat.

To J and me, it’s much better to have and promote the traditions than it is to buy and promote consumerism. In fact, we have limits for the boys’ gifts; they have to fill their Christmas list with four things—something they want, something they need, something for fun and something educational. That’s what they get to ask for.

You can thank the Nana—who did the same thing with me—for that one.

Last night was St. Nicholas. Today is supposed to be the ‘feast’ (and I’ll be making my famous chicken parmesan and J’s garlic cheese bread), but last night was the big fun—as it was the time the boys were supposed to put out their shoes in anticipation of candy and treats. This does require some elaborate planning (especially on how we will keep Sophie from going to the animal hospital with a chocolate overdose).

Plus, now that they’re older… well, it’s less about the magic (let’s face it, we all know Santa is a ghost now, right?) and more actively participating in the traditions. Usually by making a series of raucous jokes.

This semester has been very busy, and so this time around, I put J in charge of procuring the treats which would end up in the shoes. “No problem. I know my boys,” my husband proffered when I asked if he could help out with this. My mother-in-law (and partner in crime when it comes to blowout birthday parties and things like St. Nicholas, or the most elaborate egg dying sessions you can imagine) was sending me text reminders (more on how my teen has taught both grandmothers to use their smart phones at another time) and ideas and potential scenarios, which I was then forwarding to my husband. “No worries, babe. I got this,” was his reply.

And he did have it. He did a great job. And he was even able to handle the curve ball the boys threw at him. They decided that no ordinary shoes would do this year. They needed something…. Bigger. J decided that they needed some…Guidance… on that subject.

We don't fill hiking boots, for instance.

Or roller blades, brooding teen!

We will hide your goodies in normal shoes downstairs... and away from the dog.

Do you have awesome family traditions that you hope to carry on through your child(ren)'s childhood? Or do you want some ideas? Because I'm like the Pinterest of holiday traditions, I swear!

Cooking Post: The Ubiquitous Breakfast Burrito

YUM...

Do you know what we haven’t had in a long damn time? A cooking post. Okay, you likely see cooking posts all the time, but we’re talking about a cooking post from ME… which are few and far between and the world’s easiest things to make, because really? A girl can have limits to her talents.

Do you remember when I told you that I was scared of fast food? I still am, but there’s one thing from McDonald’s that I just cannot live without. I bet you know what I’m talking about, if you’ve ever heard me wax poetic on the benefits of tortillas and cheese in every meal. It’s the damn breakfast burrito. I love those things. I know they’re awful for me; I don’t want to know what’s actually in them. They. Are. Delicious.

Is It A Zombie?

This is not a post, but if you’ve been wondering where your #photoadayJune, chicken parmesan recipe, fishing trip extravaganza, or weekend wrap-up have been… well… I have a present for you!

It’s not any of the things you are looking for mentioned above, however.

It’s a chart. An awesome chart which I made, with my own bare hands mouse.

On Sprocket Ink last week, we provided you with several zombie-related posts. For your own good. And also because we love zombies.

You can see them here, and here and here.

Then, the writers at Sprocket Ink started playing a game of, “Is it a zombie?” with any and all news media coverage.

Then we realized that we needed a decision flowchart to assist us in answering the age-old ‘Is it  zombie?’ question. I stepped up to the plate, leveled my eyes at the pitcher zombie, and swung for the bleachers.

Here’s my home run. Just for you.