Showing posts with label Nerding it up Again. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nerding it up Again. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Vignettes: Back to School



Me, at work: Hey, are we having issues with email?
Everyone: Yes!
All of us: Darn students.

***

Me, to J: So, who’s Ant’s teacher this year?
J: Well…
Me: What?
J: You are going to think you’re angry when I say, but you need to hear me out.
Me: Who? WHO?
J: Mr. M. Now, I know you said you wanted Ant in a classroom with a younger…
Me: A man? Again? That didn’t work out so well the last time! And I told them I wanted him to have a female, preferably young and energetic!
J: Now, Sarah, hear me out. He has Mr. M, and the first thing I thought when I went in the class room, is ‘Oh, Sarah is not going to like this.’ This guy is laid back and…
Me: You’re right! I do not like this at all!
J: AND THEN…
Me; Yes, okay. Sigh.
J: Mr. M saw Ant come through with his Doctor Who shirt and the first thing he said to him was, ‘Who is your favorite Doctor, Ant? Mine is Tom Baker!’
Me: Oy!
J: I know.
Me: Oh, this guy is a keeper. Ant’s going to have a great year!
J: I haven’t even told you the Star Wars part yet…

***
Me, at work: Hey, are we having issues with internet and wifi?
Everyone: Yes!
All of us: Darn students.

***
First day of school and I have Ant on the bus, am on my way to work, and generally thinking how awesome this morning went, given it’s the first day and all. I’m stopped at a light when the motorcycle rear ends me. It wasn’t a big hit, so at first, I’m not even certain I’ve been hit. So, I roll down the window and ask the cyclist behind me if he hit me. He flips me off.

Oh. Oh, it’s on.

I throw the brake on, get out, and go back to address him properly. The woman in the lane beside us rolls down her window so she can better hear what’s happening.

Me: I asked if you hit me.
Him, looking all of 12, and obviously going to school with his backpack on his back: My tire rolled into your car, yes.
Me: Oh, and is your tire attached to your bike? Which you were in control of when you hit me?
Him: What of it, lady?
Me: Oh, honey. HONEY. That’s not how we say we’re sorry. Let’s try it the right way…
Him: There’s not even a freaking mark on your bumper!
Me: I know. Be thankful for that, or you’d be late to your first class, and that  officer two cars ahead of me would be asking about your motorcycle license and insurance right about now. Let’s try it again, ‘I’m sorry for hitting you…’
Him: What are you, my mother?
Me: Well, I’m old enough to be your mother and I’m tired of your attitude, so yes, let’s just say I’m proxy for your mother right now.

By this time, the lady next to us is shaking with laughter and getting her phone out of her purse. I know I made her morning.

***
Student: Hey, is Blackboard down?
Everyone: Yes!
All of us: Darn students.
Me: Hey! Wait a minute…

Monday, August 5, 2013

Powering Through


Let’s see if I can write yet another post about how I disappeared off the face of the Earth and then how sorry I am that I did that, and see if anyone reads it, shall we? Actually, let’s not. It sounds a bit depressing and extremely boring. Instead, let’s take a different approach—something I’m ripping off the Bloggess. I swear this will become clear in the second paragraph.

The first time I remember having a panic attack, I must have been around six. It was night, I was in bed, and I have the feeling my parents may have let me watch something with aliens on TV. I couldn’t fall asleep, and I felt nervous and sweaty, and then the next thing I knew, every sound in the universe was crashing loudly through my head and my heart felt like it was going to burst and my body felt like if I even attempted to move out of bed and get my mom, I would fly off the face of the planet.

Okay, I lied. Third paragraph. If we don’t count this one.

I’ve had anxiety forever, it seems. It took having a panic attack in the middle of the hall before the morning bell in high school for me to realize that I wasn’t actually going to die (that it was, after all, a panic attack—thanks to that wonderful English teacher who knows exactly who he is) because I never told anyone about it. After K was born, I ended up saying, “Screw this shit!”, and throughout my twenties, I spent a lot of time, energy, and effort kicking anxiety’s ass. I used every tool available to me: meds, therapy, behavior modification, you name it. And I did kick panic’s and anxiety’s asses. That doesn’t mean that sometimes they don’t come back to take another beating. So, I’ve developed a repertoire. I have some standard go-to ways to keep myself out of that anxious/panicky state of mind, and in my opinion, those ways are awesome.  One might even say they are some of my favorite things.

Hang in there, folks. I will get to the point someday…

That’s what’s been going on for me for the last several weeks. My grandfather’s passing, the stresses everyday life, being sick, some important changes J and I have been working on… all of these things added up and into some major anxiety. So, I ended up cutting back on a lot of things (like writing here, and writing at SI, and being on social media) to go back to basics: Get up. Wear clean clothes. Make sure to eat. Sleep. And do at least one damn thing each day that you enjoy—even if you don’t think you’ll enjoy it today. Do it.

That’s how I power through.

Now we’re there! The Bloggess recently had a list of her favorite things, and there were so many excellent ideas on that list that I thought it would be awesome to create a list of my own. These are the things I’ve done recently to pull myself out of a funk, but you don’t have to be in a funk to try them out. I just felt like sharing the love (as the Bloggess is one of my favorite things)…

You may love Doctor Who, or you may hate it (WHAT is wrong with you???), but even if you do love DW, have you watched Torchwood? Now, it’s not suitable for the kiddos, and frankly, the first two episodes left me feeling like I did after I watched “Rose” for the first time, but just like Doctor Who, Torchwood does get better (although, it’s not as good as DW—we all know that—but it’s an excellent Netflix diversion in the summer television doldrums).

Also, for my DW fans—do you follow Doctor Who and the TARDIS on Facebook? You totally should. That page is chock-full of memes and inside jokes and cool merch. I like that they repeat things about ten times, because I am the person who will miss something in their timeline the first nine times. Also? Sometimes a girl needs to geek out for a bit in the middle of the day, just to make herself feel better.

As for reading… I recently read The Astronaut Wives Club, and for non-fiction (Gah!), it was engrossing! I read that damn thing in one day. Also? This totally gives you a reason to go to the library. I didn’t know if I would really like this book, and I didn’t want to purchase it through iBooks, so I went the old-school route. And you know what? I missed the library. A lot.

Have you heard about the Missouri is Awesome campaign? No? Watch the video. And then, go and check out the 5 Pound Apparel  store, and hit up their Kickstarter. And start calling people you don’t know Terry, just to see what they do…

Finally, I re-found Cold Stone Creamery. I hadn’t been to one in, oh, a decade, even though I walk by one every day on my way to work. On the Fourth, we ended up going in, waiting in line, and eating massive quantities of ice cream and chocolate and peanut butter. I’ve come to realize that ice cream is not only a summertime staple, but a valued member of my ‘get-to-feeling-better’ program. We all need to eat more ice cream.

So now it’s your turn—Tell me, what makes you happy? What have you recently enjoyed? What pulls you out of a funk?

Thursday, February 28, 2013

On Inspiration Porn and Representation



I know, I know, I need to update you on the contest winner of the spam comment content (I will, I promise) and I also need to post something about the snownami that’s precluded me from getting numerous things done for the past week (because it was pretty damn funny, in hindsight) but before then I need to write a post. It’s not often that I feel compelled to write a post.

I need to write a post about ‘inspiration porn’ and the fallout I witnessed on a fellow blogger’s Facebook page when he dared to post that basketball video. Do you know which one I mean? It’s all over the Book of Face. It’s the one where the team allowed the team manager to suit up and play in the final game. He scores the last points of the game, after a member of the opposing team hands him the ball. His team had set him up with the ball several times, to no avail. It went in the final time. The big hoopla (pun completely intended) that started on Jim’s Facebook page was because the team manager had a developmental disability.


Inspiration porn (here is a much better description) as a term and as a critique hit the interwebs in a big, bad way last year. Several people with disabilities took offense to Tumblr/Pinterest pictures that, in essence, depict individuals with disabilities going about their lives with quotes that stated—in one shape or another—that those without disabilities should 1) stop whining about how hard their lives are, 2) see how difficult it can be for those with disabilities, and 3) be inspired to be better (usually physically) than we are now because those with disabilities are doing things that we would stereotypically think they were unable to do. That’s the inspiration part. The porn part comes about by having one’s body objectified for someone else’s emotional benefit.

Case in point, you can find this  picture on
Tumblr with titles such as "Suck it up, buttercup,"
and "No excuses".

And? I will readily admit that this sucks, I think it's wrong, and my eyes were opened quite a bit by the post I linked to in the paragraph above.  Yet…

While the basketball video didn’t have some items (the quote, for instance) that would mark it as inspiration porn, it did have some of the characteristics. Basketball games, for high school boys interested in such things, could be considered everyday business. There was someone with a disability present in it. And then there were able-bodied teen boys who were trying to assist him (with or without his desire for them to help him; we cannot know for certain) with something that they thought he wanted to do, and then feeling good about what they’d done. Oh, and the coach—who came up with this plan—felt pretty damn good about himself as well.

Nevertheless, many people—those with disabilities and those without-- consider the video to be a heartwarming depiction of how we should treat our fellow man—including those with disabilities. Others--a select group--thought it completely infringed on that young man’s rights, and objectified him in the hopes of making those without disabilities feel good about themselves and the world. Bickering in the comments of the post ensued (I used the nice words, here).

I spent the last 24 hours thinking about this in some really deep ways. First, I wasn’t certain the basketball video was inspiration porn to begin with. Was this young man objectified? Was this story video made to make those without disabilities better about themselves? I went back and forth over this for quite some time. I would want people to help my children achieve their dreams—even if they are not able to completely do something (like make the basketball team) by themselves.

Then, I realized it didn’t really matter, because something much larger was at work.

I am familiar with some mass communication research about the depiction of minorities. A scholar by the name of Cedric Clark came up with a model for minority representation in mass communication. He had four stages, and while I won’t bore you with all the deliciously nerdy details, these four stages have given birth to quite a bit of research and further elaboration of models that might fit what we witness when it comes to representing minorities on television.

His four stages were:
1.      Non-recognition- A given minority group is not acknowledged by the dominant media to even exist.
2.      Ridicule- Certain minority characters are portrayed as stupid, silly, lazy, irrational, or simply laughable.
3.      Regulation- Certain minority characters are presented as enforcers or administrators of the dominant group’s norms.
4.      Respect - The minority group in question is portrayed no differently than any other group. Interracial relationships would also not appear extraordinary.

Even though he meant to apply these stages primarily to representations of African-Americans on television, the model has been expanded to include almost any minority group in any media—including American Indians, those with disabilities, those who are GLBQT, etc.  

So, let’s take a look, for just a minute, at this basketball video and decide which stage it belongs in (inspiration porn or no, although I’m not convinced that it is). First, I think we can easily say that it doesn’t fit in stage one. If it were in stage one, there wouldn’t have been a video.

I think it’s also safe to say that this video doesn’t fit in stage two. The young man is not being ridiculed, is he? He’s not the subject of mockery. He’s not depicted as silly, lazy or irrational.

So, what about stage three? Does this video fit into stage three? I would argue yes. Here is the story of a young man and an act that attempts to move us to feel empathetic, bring happiness, and, to put it bluntly—demonstrate a compassionate way to treat someone, according to the dominant group. While he himself is not the person in the role of administrator, per se, he has the same desires as his peers without disabilities, and he is given the chance to play on the court with them. It reinforces the dominant group’s current belief that those individuals with disabilities should be included in activities they desire whenever possible, even when that includes additional help. This is, in my opinion, where our dominant belief resides right now.

I think it goes without saying that we are not at stage four. In fact, we can easily say that we’re not solidly in stage four for any minority group.  Again, I could bore you to death by quoting study after study to this effect, or I can simply ask you: can you think of a single television show with a gay couple that doesn’t point out they’re gay? Do you ever see a news story that doesn’t point out a ‘black man’ when the accused is African American? Do you routinely see American Indians depicted on television without their ethnicity being mentioned? How about Max on Parenthood? How many episodes have dealt with his diagnosis? 

So, while I understand that there are significant problems with the portrayal of individuals with disabilities in this country, and yes, I understand that an individual with a disability doesn’t need to be pigeonholed into the role of ‘looking for a cure’, or ‘hero’ or ‘charity-case’, I am actually pretty darn happy that those with disabilities are at stage three. It’s not perfect, and I get that. We should continue to strive for stage four, but let’s not forget that stage three is a whole helluva lot better than stages one or two. It means we’re making progress. It means that we can be at a stage four at some point in time. It means that we are setting the stage for respect and recognition—no different than anyone else—because we are distinctly making efforts to change the dominant groups’ perceptions.

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