Staring into space

Photo by EricMagnuson

Every night, at approximately the same time each evening, I ‘see’ something. It has become a ritual, of sorts.

Sitting on our patio in the twilight, I now habitually look up to the stars and scan the sky for its approach. Most nights, it starts off dim, growing brighter and brighter in its intensity as it streaks across the sky. It does not flash or strobe- like a commercial plane. It’s bright white, flying faster than anything I’ve ever seen.  Mostly it flies north to south—only twice have I seen it fly from the south to the north. It has no tail, so it cannot be a meteor. It fades from sight in less than two minutes, flying higher than anything I can currently imagine.

Seeing it makes my eyes widen and my heart race. It never fails to appear at the appointed time, and yet, each and every time I see it I feel as if I am the only living creature on this planet who knows about its existence. The fact that it is unexplained alone lends itself to belief that just by its own existence, something historic or momentous is occurring.

I’m not the only one seeing it, however. After a handful of failed attempts to get J outside in time to know what I’m talking about, I’ve finally been able to show it to him. He stares upward, just as I do, with neck craned and breathing slowed. He tells me that it is not a satellite—not one of the commercial variety, at least. Those, he states, are much dimmer, much slower. There is only the International Space Station that flies directly over our heads. Satellites also usually fly from east to west.

I won’t say that it’s aliens, or anything else quite so far-fetched, but I won’t rule it out, either. I’m not a big believer in extra-terrestrial life visiting earth, but we don’t know for certain that this will never happen. While I love a good conspiracy theory—mostly for what they show us about our own culture—I cannot say that this is a UFO in anything more than the most literal use of the term.

I’m actually excited about the vastly more mundane explanations. Is it secret government planes? I have read Jacobsen’s Area 51, after all. Is it a spy satellite, and by writing this blog post, I will alert our federal government and save the world? Or, best of all the theories I can imagine: are we observing the test runs of our next evolution in space travel? Are we some of the first witnesses the progeny of the shuttle missions? How awesome would that be?

Now, I’ve debated over whether I should share this bit on my blog—and not for the fact that you might think I’m off my rocker (really? Is that even a question anymore?). I’m more concerned that somehow, I’ll break the magical hold it has over us by speaking about it. I’m afraid the mystery will rub off. I’m afraid that once I know what it actually is, the routine will lose its appeal, and this object’s nightly approach will no longer seem significant.

So, I bury my head in the sand, er, sky, and I keep myself from asking the purveyor of all knowledge (Google), and I ask my kids to tell me what they think it is. Am I the only one? Has there ever been a time where you preferred the mystery to the knowing?