The Waiting Game

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I hate waiting. I’ve always been impatient. Now, it seems the universe is out to teach me my big lesson on patience. I apparently will begin by learning to wait on EVERYTHING.

I’m waiting for my hair to grow back in.

I’m waiting for the pimples to go away.

I’m waiting for the stress and anxiety levels to go back down.

I’m waiting for my vitamin deficiencies (the official word from my doctor) to resolve.

I’m waiting to feel hungry again (the supplements I’m on don’t mix well with an anxious stomach).

I’m waiting to see if they accept our offer on the house.

In the evenings I wait for Jason to get home, and then I wait for supper to be over, and then for the boys to go to bed, and I don’t even know why… I end up falling asleep shortly thereafter. What the hell am I waiting for?

Related: I’m waiting for good television to come back on.

I’m waiting to see if I can connect with some of my friends and blatantly use them to get out of my funk. I think I really need to connect with some of my girlfriends. Like, y’all might want to start a phone call calendar.  And plan a weekend. Like, NOW. For Sarah’s sanity.

Have I mentioned I am trying to wait patiently for my hair to go back to normal?

I’m waiting for that divine spark of creativity to ignite in me, and then I find exactly what I am meant to contribute, what I am meant to share of myself. Can’t forget to mention that I’m waiting on that!

It feels as if I’m waiting on everything, even if it’s not really the case. And this, THIS MONSTROUSLY HUGE AND ANXIETY PRODUCING (and oh, my God, will even more of my hair fall out with all of this anxiety???) waiting game, which is likely little more than a figment of my imagination, is making you wait on things. Like regular posts. Or the coffee mug Alex won with the Spam Comments contest (Sorry Alex! I promise I will send it to you soon!). Or for me to do anything of any worth on social media (I don’t even remember the last time I signed onto Twitter). You see? Phone call calendar… Regular check-ins for Sarah… Let's all chip in to get her back on track...

Or perhaps I should take a deep breath, my lumps, and get over myself. Which is what I’m trying to do.

While I wait.