What Is Keeping Me From Posting?

I’m so glad you asked. I made a chart to show you.

Please, no one point out to me that in the time it took for me to make this chart that I could have written you a post. Also, make sure to read the posts I wrote over at Sprocket Ink this week about the Devil stealing children’s souls in the lunch line and, of course, how only stupid people talk about magical vaginas. That should be enough to placate you for a little while, right?

Just be thankful that I’m not posting pictures of my gnarly broken finger. It’s my middle finger. And it’s pretty gross. I came *this* close to posting it!