Fitspo for Relatively Unfit Normal People and Nerds

It started with J saying, “I could do that.” To which I responded, “The HELL you can!”

We were watching men’s gymnastics. It’s amazing what I can convince my husband to watch when it’s labeled “Olympic Coverage.” I’ve made him watch water polo, men’s volleyball, and trampoline. It’s all okay, you know, because it’s the Olympics.

J was certain he could do the splits, with his arms above his head. No matter that the gymnast in question (during the floor exercises) did a head stand and then fifty billion twists in the air and then landed in some type of backwards somersault thing. J was certain that he could, at the very least, do the splits the way that guy had done them.

So I taunted him until he tried it, late at night in the middle of our living room floor. You’ll just have to take it from me when it comes to the comic factor—as I was laughing so damn hard that I couldn’t take a picture on my phone AND I woke the boys.

Then, J taunted me into doing the splits as well. I did better than him (which, if the Olympic commentators teach you anything, is all that matters), but my splits looked nothing like the guy who did them during his floor exercise.

There we were, laying on the floor and laughing so hard that we were out of breath, when our children came downstairs and questioned our sobriety. Yep—we did this while completely sober. That’s just how our marriage works.

Later that evening, J and discussed our miserably failed attempts. We lamented on the fact that people in the world are much finer human specimens than ourselves. We marveled at the fact that a Team USA swimmer—who is the same age as K—won Olympic gold. We wondered when we got so old and unfit. I used to dance and play softball and volleyball and lift weights when I was a teenager. J played Ironman football. When did it all start going downhill?

So we decided that we needed to get in better shape. Granted—he and I both work out on a regular basis, and have lost quite a bit of weight (over 100 pounds combined) in the past three years, but we’ve plateaued. It’s time to up the ante. I’m not planning on winning any Olympic medals any time soon, nor do I plan to have six pack abs (which just isn’t possible after an emergency c-section), but I do want to be stronger.

Now we come to the actual point of this post. Do you know about this crazy thinspo/fitspo crap on Pinterest and Tumblr? I knew of its existence, but I’d not had to run across any of it personally. Well, trying looking up exercise items on Pinterest—and you’ll see a lot of creepy shit you never wanted to see.

Again, I used to be a dancer in high school. I also danced in college. I’ve seen my fair share of eating disorders and overly thin women. I don’t know exactly how we go about stopping it all, but I do know we need to try harder—if this type of thing exists, and in such abundance.

This morning, in the shower (all good ideas come to me in the shower), I had a wonderful idea. There needs to be fitspo for people like me. We could change this trend from the inside out. There needs to be fitspo for the nerds.  As I said before, I don’t want six-pack abs; I want to be able to outrun the zombies or aliens or vampires (that last one may be a bit of a stretch).

So, I think I’ll make some fitspo of my own. Fitspo that doesn’t tell you that skinny is better than chocolate (which is such a lie), or any of that other insanity.

Do any of us even know what exercise they show above anyway?

Now that would be motivating...

Wouldn't we all?

Do you want to contribute? Send me your pictures or caption ideas, and let’s see how many of these we can make! Because, let’s face it, the nerds (and the normal people) deserve some motivation, too.