Ant scooted
back slowly from the kitchen counter as I grumbled under my breath. At least I
thought it was under my breath.
“Who the
hell lives in a house with no freaking nutmeg? How do I even get myself into these
messes? Who forgets to buy freaking nutmeg?”
My kids are
nothing if not smart. They know when to back away from me slowly. Ant may love
to watch me bake, bring me ingredients, and stir things, but he knows when it’s
time to clear the decks.
When I
started yelling at the can opener, he knew for sure that it was time to leave
the room.
Yesterday was
one of those days. The terrible, no good, very bad, horrible days. Now it was
evening, things were calming down (slightly), and I was baking J’s pumpkin pie
for his birthday. The birthday that is today. I was baking the pie last night
at eight pm.
That’s how
we roll. I’ll be buying his birthday present tonight, after work, on my way
home.
Now, let’s
get this straight for those of you who don’t know me in real life. I love
baking. I’m decent at baking, no less. You’ve seen my cupcakes on here earlier
this year. And I love making pies. I’m no cook—I married this man for his
cooking—but baking actually is within my realm of expertise.
The thing
is, my specialty when it comes to pies is pecan pies. And my husband’s all-time
favorite dessert is pumpkin pie. And pumpkin pie and I have a past. We have
emotional baggage, in fact. I’ve never had a pumpkin pie that didn’t turn on
me.
Yesterday evening,
it started with the crust. Then it migrated to the spices. Then I broke the
damn can opener trying to open the condensed milk.
No freaking
lie.
To top it
off, J was at pottery class, I had limited time, I’d had two beers, and the
Cardinals game was on. There would be no running to the store. There would only
be IMPROVISATION.
We’ll see how
well my improv skills worked. I can tell you that it looked alright, and it
smelled alright, last night. We’ll actually see if it tastes alright tonight.
Because the
best improv skill I’ve gained in my baking experience—when in doubt, add extra
sugar (or butter, depending on what it is).
Wish me
luck!
I've only baked a few times in my life, but I already know to add extra sugar and butter. I'M A NATURAL!
ReplyDeleteI made this beautiful pumpkin pie once. It looked fantastic, but since I forgot to add sugar it tasted like crap. :)
ReplyDeleteThe real problem was that you stopped at only two beers. Three, and nothing would have bothered you at all.
ReplyDeleteAlex-- I think you are a natural!
ReplyDeleteAngie-- Oh. I've done stuff like that myself. Thank goodness I *know* I added the sugar this time around.
Parent birthdays, what parent birthdays? I do envy your ability to cook. I do everyone a favor when I buy my pumpkin pies at the bakery.
ReplyDeleteOh, my. I do hope it tastes good for you. I know that you can get a list off the internet of things to substitute in case you are out. I usually look in google and can normally find some way to make it all work.
ReplyDeleteOooh I really want to know if it came out well. I'm a drinking baker (OK, I'm a drinking everything) and believe me, there have been way too many times I've had to improvise b/c I don't have all the ingredients (and had already started drinking).
ReplyDelete