Burning Questions

Give me some time with my own thoughts (for instance, on a holiday weekend) and I will give you a series of questions that 1) only I could think of, I bet, and 2) that no one particularly wants answered, besides myself.

That’s what I woke up to contemplate early this Saturday morning. Here are the questions that ran through my mind.

1)     Why can I not wake up on time during the work week, but I can wake up BEFORE the alarm would go off during a weekend or holiday?

2)     Do Japanese doctors tell Japanese women to not eat sushi while pregnant?

3)     Why do we need eight glasses of water a day? My doctor tells me that wine, coffee, tea and coke don’t count, so how did our species survive during the Middle Ages? They avoided water like the plague (ha-ha) so they opted for wine and ale all the time! Plus, I highly suspect that they did not know about super-foods.  They also ate putrefied foods. And if the explanation comes down to survival of the fittest, then why is it that we need to drink eight glasses of water a day? I need an explanation on this one…

4)     Why do furniture stores assume that every time we all have a day off due to a holiday that we need to buy a mattress? Don’t they know that the vast majority of us just want to buy beer?

5)     Who thought bottle rockets were a good idea? Was it a group of teenage boys? And if so, who thought it would be a good idea to allow teenage boys to develop a product line with fuses and gunpowder?

6)     Why are tennis outfits so unflattering? This is the case for both men and women. You would think that fashion designers would be all over this. The whiteness, the tightness (which shows every bulge and drop of sweat on some of the fittest, most handsome/beautiful members of our species) makes me never want to re-learn tennis (I had a tennis section in high school PE).

7)     This one is a burning question from J: Why do women feel the need to paint their toenails? Who came up with this idea? And why do they think men care if they’ve had a pedicure or not? Note: I’ve tried to explain this whole phenomenon to him, and have apparently failed my gender.

How would you answer these questions? What burning questions do you have? And how did we ever survive before the advent of Google search?