I would have been there

Like so many others out there, I am saddened, shocked, horrified by the events in Arizona yesterday. I have a hard time fathoming that six people died and 14 more were injured while exercising their constitutional right to assemble. I agree with many individuals who are speaking against inflammatory rhetoric, and words that appear to imply acceptable violence. These things are not acceptable in a democratic society. I think that both sides (because now would not be the time for Democrats or anyone else to speak vehemently against the Tea Party movement, imply retaliation against them or any others—no reason to confront the same issue with a 180 degree turnaround) need now to preach rationality, reason, and civic debate.

But you can read about all of this elsewhere and likely from people who are much more eloquent than me. I want to talk about something else. I want to talk about why the events in Arizona on Saturday shake me to my core. Watching the coverage on CNN made me tremble and tear up. It struck me so hard because if a meet and greet has occurred in my congressional district—especially in front of the local grocery store I frequent, I would have been there. I would have taken my kids. I would have seen it as a civic responsibility and a lesson to be taught-- even if it had been for a congressperson that I had not voted for.

I would have been there, if it had been my grocery store, and I would have brought my kids along with me. I would have been subjected to violence from an unstable person and my children would have either been involved or borne witness.

Ever since 9/11, when K—who was then four-- watched the second plane hit the tower on live TV, I’ve realized that there are some things you cannot shield your children from, and some things that you just shouldn’t shield your children from. I know this is counterintuitive to many parents’ choices. I know that at first, it felt counterintuitive to me as well. I did not want K to see the plane hit, or the towers come down, but I had not been able to stop it. I remember being a teenager and watching the coverage of the Oklahoma City bombing on TV in complete shock. I did not handle it well as a teen, and I did not know how I could help a small child handle it any better. But it was with 9/11 that I realized that I was raising future citizens in this nation, who were living in a time of great historical impact, and that I was responsible not only for their immediate welfare, but to also to assist them in making sense of the world around them.

I realized that the impact of my parenting was much larger than juice boxes and homework and bedtime and that I had signed on for much, much more than I had originally anticipated.

When Barack Obama gave his speech after winning the presidential election, I woke the children so that they could see it. It was late, they were not fully cognizant, and it was difficult to get them back in bed, but it was worth it. They witnessed the acceptance speech of the first African-American elected to the presidency. No matter your politics, it was a historic moment.

When I go to vote, I take the children with me. The biggest fear I had in my first real election—one where I could actually vote—was that I would somehow do something wrong, and they would throw out my ballot because I had not followed directions. I’ve always wanted my children to understand exactly how voting works and why it is so important.

When there have been debates on TV my children have watched; or elected officials hosting events, I have taken my children, so that they can witness, and hopefully begin to understand this process. I’ve even taken them to a city council meeting. It is no jump to think that I would have attended a meet and greet just like the one in front of the Safeway on Saturday.

When I checked Twitter yesterday afternoon, and saw that there was reason to turn on the TV and find out from the news just exactly what was occurring, I did not shoo my children out of the room. I knew that it could possibly upset them, and that I might have to answer questions to which there are truly no answers. I took the risk. Granted, Ant soon lost interest and moved on to something else, but I sat there, getting caught up on the released details (and quite a bit of random speculation) with K. We spoke of the ramifications for hours afterwards, trying to make sense of it for each other and for ourselves.

The fear and sadness that can present in my children, the awkwardness of having to admit I do not have all of the answers—it does end up being worth it. K can list important members of our federal government, members of the cabinet, and knows exactly who Pelosi handed power over to last week as speaker of the house. He knows the governor and lieutenant governor of our state, and knows who holds power in the state house. I cannot say that I had the same insight or knowledge when I was 13.

Ant, while no quite on this level, can name the president and the fact that we are at war. Ant can see a commercial (like the ASPCA commercials that even bring me to tears) and move directly to the idea of volunteering for a similar organization in our area (and yes, he and I will be dedicated 5 hours of our time each month to an animal shelter for the next six months). Ant was heavily involved in a fundraising campaign for the victims of the Haiti earthquake last year (as a first grader), understood the mechanics and the impact of the event.

I would have been there, and my children would have been in tow.

No one, nowhere (and yes, this includes people in other countries), should ever have to worry about what we Americans consider God-given in our first amendment rights. You should never have to worry about being in danger because you speak your mind, or because you assemble. You should never have to worry about someone (unstable or not) impeding you from free intellectual pursuit. You should never have to worry about your children’s’ safety if you choose to educate them in civic engagement or process. No matter your opinion on the rhetoric surrounding the event, the mental condition of the alleged shooter, gun control, or anything else that could come up in the ensuing coverage, the fact that something of this magnitude occurred in our nation only shows us that we have not come quite as far as we would like to believe. That is something we need to address, and immediately.