A Comedy of Errors

A coworker was telling the tale of her pre-work morning adventures yesterday morning. It was amusing. She called it a Comedy of Errors and that stuck with me all day.

I don’t think it would be a traditional morning in la casa di Frigerio if there was no comedy of errors. Seriously. There are no mornings full of quiet preparation for the upcoming day. The idea of a normal morning, with everyone around, presentable, and chipper… That, my friends, is frightening.
We do have mornings full of oddity, quirkiness, and amusement.

First off, I have what J calls ‘Morning Tourette’s’. Actually, what he should say is that I have ‘Morning Coprolalia' --say that fast five times. You see, you learn something new every day.
My inappropriate use of taboo words in or out of context usually begins when K wakes me up. He gets up at 5:30am, showers, gets around, eats breakfast, turns on the TV, etc. He chooses to get up this early. He LIKES getting up early. He did not inherit this from me. It tends to make my asleep-self very angry.

I have tried telling everyone that my brain is not working correctly when I am still half asleep, and of course, I cannot be held responsible for my loud cursing. Or the weird messes located in the general vicinity of the coffee pot. Or Ant’s mismatched socks.

So, let me share some of my recent favorite morning exchanges (the one I can remember, of course):

Ant: Momma, I cannot wear my coat to school today.
Me: Honey, we’re running late. Get the coat on, pronto!
Ant: But I cannot wear this, MOMMA!
Me: Why, pray tell?
Ant: Well, because I stuffed the pockets all full of wood chips yesterday so that I did not have to wear it anymore.

Me: K, what the ---- are you doing?
K: Laundry. I need to have clothes done.
Me: What? Why do you have the vacuum?
K: Oh, I’m cleaning up the pieces of cardboard Sophie chewed up last night.
Me: Cardboard? And what happened to the couches?
K: Well, I decided to vacuum those too, and underneath the cushions.
Me: K, it is 6:12am. Go back to ------- bed.
K: Can’t! I ate donuts for breakfast!

Me: Ant, wake up! Get dressed! We’re leaving without you!
Ant: Mwmph!
Me: Honey, now! Get. Up. Now. Do not make me dress you and carry you downstairs.
Ant: Yawn, and roll over
Me: Fine! I crawl into bed with him
J: What? NO! NOOOO!!! Both of you! Get up!