Thursday, October 20, 2011

Things I’ve Never Done, and Things I Have

I am thirty-one years old, and I have never:

1.      Been to Australia.
2.      Or the Mediterranean.
3.      Or China.
4.      Gone to a wine-tasting.
5.      Learned to speak a second language, fluently.
6.      Graduated high school.
7.      Been a maid of honor in someone’s wedding.
8.      Dipped a toe in the Pacific Ocean. 
9.      Thrown a pot.
10.  Picked up a guy up in a bar.
11.  Had my legs waxed.
12.  Climbed Chichen Itza.
13.  Watched the equinox at Stonehenge.
14.  Participated in a beauty pageant.
15.  Painted a piece of artwork.
16.  Completed a PhD.
17.  Sang Karaoke.
18.  Worn pantyhose to work.
19.  Eaten a bug (on purpose, as far as I am aware).
20.   Seen the projector room in a movie theater.
21.  Been called for jury duty.
22.  Been fired.

But because I am proud of all of the things I have experienced, I have, however:

1.      Rocked a sleeping baby while taking notes in a lecture hall.
2.      Taught myself to play bass guitar.
3.      Taken my children to Disney World.
4.      Eloped to a foreign country.
5.      Been in a plane in a thunderstorm.
6.      Made paper, by hand.
7.      Stood at the Crossroads.
8.      Volunteered in a soup kitchen.
9.      Taught a graduate seminar.
10.   Been on a ghost hunt.
11.  Had my poetry published.
12.   Seen a tornado.
13.  Fallen on my ass on an icy parking lot. In front of coworkers.
14.   Learned to shoot a gun.
15.  Scored 100% on a math test.
16.  Ridden on a shrimp trawler.
17.  Run through a hay field at sunset.
18.  Danced on stage, in front of a crowd, during a competition.
19.  Had a c-section.
20.  Camped, canoed, and fished.
21.  Walked upon the Natchez Trace and the Trail of Tears.
22.  Been stuck in an elevator (more than once). 

This has been written as part of:
Mama’s Losin’ It


  1. I took my best friend to the Pacific Ocean for the first time (an oddity since we both lived and grew up in WA - and yet, he hadn't been) - he stripped down to his knickers in the middle of the night and ran out onto the sand screaming "PACIFIC OCEAN!" and waded into the frigidness. That is one of my favorite memories of all time. I hope you get to go at some point!

  2. Been stuck in an elevator? You must elaborate! I like how you juxtaposed the list of things you've never done with the list of things you have done. You've done some awesome things like published your poetry!

  3. Anne, here is my (very) brief explanation of some elevator mishaps. I strongly suggest that no one EVER ride in an elevator with me!

    Working at Famous Barr when I was a teenager-- got stuck in the service elevator with the girl from maternity and a Z-rack. Lights out. The girl with me had a panic attack. 30 minutes before they got us out.

    Graduate School-- Got in the elevator in the basement (from the parking garage), rose up two of the three floors needed to reach my class before the elevator crashed back down to the basement. Didn't see the sign that it was out of service, because they had only placed one on the first floor.

    At my last job-- Was in a tiny elevator on my way to a huge budget meeting. The elevator was packed with people when it stopped and went dark. This time I was the one to have the panic attack, but I will say that this only came on once it got hot in there. Needless to say, I missed the meeting!

    If you think this is fun, you should see my track record with planes! The moral of the story-- Sarah should keep her feet on the ground.


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