I am thirty-one years old, and I have never:
1. Been to Australia.
2. Or the Mediterranean.
3. Or China.
4. Gone to a wine-tasting.
5. Learned to speak a second language, fluently.
6. Graduated high school.
7. Been a maid of honor in someone’s wedding.
8. Dipped a toe in the Pacific Ocean.
9. Thrown a pot.
10. Picked up a guy up in a bar.
11. Had my legs waxed.
12. Climbed Chichen Itza.
13. Watched the equinox at Stonehenge.
14. Participated in a beauty pageant.
15. Painted a piece of artwork.
16. Completed a PhD.
17. Sang Karaoke.
18. Worn pantyhose to work.
19. Eaten a bug (on purpose, as far as I am aware).
20. Seen the projector room in a movie theater.
21. Been called for jury duty.
22. Been fired.
But because I am proud of all of the things I have experienced, I have, however:
1. Rocked a sleeping baby while taking notes in a lecture hall.
2. Taught myself to play bass guitar.
3. Taken my children to Disney World.
4. Eloped to a foreign country.
5. Been in a plane in a thunderstorm.
6. Made paper, by hand.
7. Stood at the Crossroads.
8. Volunteered in a soup kitchen.
9. Taught a graduate seminar.
10. Been on a ghost hunt.
11. Had my poetry published.
12. Seen a tornado.
13. Fallen on my ass on an icy parking lot. In front of coworkers.
14. Learned to shoot a gun.
15. Scored 100% on a math test.
16. Ridden on a shrimp trawler.
17. Run through a hay field at sunset.
18. Danced on stage, in front of a crowd, during a competition.
19. Had a c-section.
20. Camped, canoed, and fished.
21. Walked upon the Natchez Trace and the Trail of Tears.
22. Been stuck in an elevator (more than once).
This has been written as part of: