Let’s see if I can write yet another post about how I disappeared off the face of the Earth and then how sorry I am that I did that, and see if anyone reads it, shall we? Actually, let’s not. It sounds a bit depressing and extremely boring. Instead, let’s take a different approach—something I’m ripping off the Bloggess. I swear this will become clear in the second paragraph.
The first time I remember having a panic attack, I must have been around six. It was night, I was in bed, and I have the feeling my parents may have let me watch something with aliens on TV. I couldn’t fall asleep, and I felt nervous and sweaty, and then the next thing I knew, every sound in the universe was crashing loudly through my head and my heart felt like it was going to burst and my body felt like if I even attempted to move out of bed and get my mom, I would fly off the face of the planet.
Okay, I lied. Third paragraph. If we don’t count this one.
I’ve had anxiety forever, it seems. It took having a panic attack in the middle of the hall before the morning bell in high school for me to realize that I wasn’t actually going to die (that it was, after all, a panic attack—thanks to that wonderful English teacher who knows exactly who he is) because I never told anyone about it. After K was born, I ended up saying, “Screw this shit!”, and throughout my twenties, I spent a lot of time, energy, and effort kicking anxiety’s ass. I used every tool available to me: meds, therapy, behavior modification, you name it. And I did kick panic’s and anxiety’s asses. That doesn’t mean that sometimes they don’t come back to take another beating. So, I’ve developed a repertoire. I have some standard go-to ways to keep myself out of that anxious/panicky state of mind, and in my opinion, those ways are awesome. One might even say they are some of my favorite things.
Hang in there, folks. I will get to the point someday…
That’s what’s been going on for me for the last several weeks. My grandfather’s passing, the stresses everyday life, being sick, some important changes J and I have been working on… all of these things added up and into some major anxiety. So, I ended up cutting back on a lot of things (like writing here, and writing at SI, and being on social media) to go back to basics: Get up. Wear clean clothes. Make sure to eat. Sleep. And do at least one damn thing each day that you enjoy—even if you don’t think you’ll enjoy it today. Do it.
That’s how I power through.
Now we’re there! The Bloggess recently had a list of her favorite things, and there were so many excellent ideas on that list that I thought it would be awesome to create a list of my own. These are the things I’ve done recently to pull myself out of a funk, but you don’t have to be in a funk to try them out. I just felt like sharing the love (as the Bloggess is one of my favorite things)…
You may love Doctor Who, or you may hate it (WHAT is wrong with you???), but even if you do love DW, have you watched Torchwood? Now, it’s not suitable for the kiddos, and frankly, the first two episodes left me feeling like I did after I watched “Rose” for the first time, but just like Doctor Who, Torchwood does get better (although, it’s not as good as DW—we all know that—but it’s an excellent Netflix diversion in the summer television doldrums).
Also, for my DW fans—do you follow Doctor Who and the TARDIS on Facebook? You totally should. That page is chock-full of memes and inside jokes and cool merch. I like that they repeat things about ten times, because I am the person who will miss something in their timeline the first nine times. Also? Sometimes a girl needs to geek out for a bit in the middle of the day, just to make herself feel better.
As for reading… I recently read The Astronaut Wives Club, and for non-fiction (Gah!), it was engrossing! I read that damn thing in one day. Also? This totally gives you a reason to go to the library. I didn’t know if I would really like this book, and I didn’t want to purchase it through iBooks, so I went the old-school route. And you know what? I missed the library. A lot.
Have you heard about the Missouri is Awesome campaign? No? Watch the video. And then, go and check out the 5 Pound Apparel store, and hit up their Kickstarter. And start calling people you don’t know Terry, just to see what they do…
Finally, I re-found Cold Stone Creamery. I hadn’t been to one in, oh, a decade, even though I walk by one every day on my way to work. On the Fourth, we ended up going in, waiting in line, and eating massive quantities of ice cream and chocolate and peanut butter. I’ve come to realize that ice cream is not only a summertime staple, but a valued member of my ‘get-to-feeling-better’ program. We all need to eat more ice cream.
So now it’s your turn—Tell me, what makes you happy? What have you recently enjoyed? What pulls you out of a funk?